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[17 Jan 2006|01:43am] |
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eh hey. its friends only now.
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[22 Aug 2005|04:22pm] |
I'm packing for school. Because I leave in 5 days.
It's time for me to say my own goodbyes. Some of which are going to hurt.
Even though I'm only 2 hours away.
(My best friend lives 9 hours away from me.)
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[20 Aug 2005|07:40pm] |
I changed my email. I thought stellarturkey was just getting to be a little too 7th grade.
dansedansing@hotmail.com
is the new one.
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[19 Aug 2005|01:23pm] |
I had a lot of fun yesterday. Thanks everyone for coming and making yesterday such a good day.
Oh and I would just like to point out that the picture taker guy at bang rememered me when i went and took another picture of me. He also made me pose stupidly so that I look crazy in my picture.
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[18 Aug 2005|07:21pm] |
I'm so tired. This whole watching my friends slowly leave me thing is breaking my heart.
And the worst is still to come.
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[16 Aug 2005|06:05pm] |
I hate to bring this up on LJ but:
None of my friends are returning my calls. And most of them went to LA without me today. And did I mention my parents are crazy?
Way to suck end of summer. And it's my fault.
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[16 Aug 2005|05:50pm] |
This isn't very cool.
I'm eating the pringles we bought for my dorm room.
Now that my mom stays home all day long she has lots of time to comment on my eating habits. I have to sneak my sodas now because apparently drinking five a day is not normal.
These days have been very strange because they move so quickly between devastation to joy. I'm mostly just sad when I'm at home.
The plan: Go to garage with purse in hand. Put soda in purse but carry water bottle out of garage in plain veiw. Perfect.
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[14 Aug 2005|09:12pm] |
For those of you who don't know I got caught sneaking off to Bang last night. Yes I lied to my parents and they miraculously found out. I don't mean that sarcastically. They have "lost all trust in me and don't know if they will ever trust me again," also they would like to know "if it was worth losing their trust for a night of dancing," my father even asked me with a sad shake of his head "why'd you do it?" They make it sound like I raped and murdered an 8 year old. Now I admit I fucked up and shouldn't have lied but I can't help but feel like their over reacting. I don't know I'm obviously biased but I know that I'm a good person in general. I don't do this to my parents to fuck them over I do it to go dancing or whatever. I don't know I'm just really annoyed that I'm in trouble and I'm moving out in two weeks and turning 19 in two months. It just all seems a little ridiculous.
I don't know if I'm grounded. I had to stay home and do chores all day long and my mom keeps talking about how were going dorm room shopping tomorrow. They took the car and I might not get to take it to school. I can't talk to my friends I can't go on aim or use the phone. My mom no longer has a job so she will be home with me all day there by foiling (is that the right word?) any escape/visit attempts.
I don't even care if they're mad at me. I don't care if they take the car and I don't care about all the chores. I just don't want to miss any opportunities to see my friends before they leave. I think I'm going to go cry now about a little bit of everything. I just don't want my parents to think I'm crying because of them.
Wes, Ryan, Lain, Tany, Hannah... anyone who I'm missing chances to see because of this. I just want to apologize to you.
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[07 Aug 2005|09:42pm] |
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caitie is in the other room & i, ryan, am updating for her. we just spent forever on DEADJOURNAL. tears of laughter kids. do yourself a favor. don't look at it. everyone looks like complete idiots. kisses.
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[05 Aug 2005|08:20pm] |
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I just redid my LJ because I didn't want to organize my clothes to take to school. As you all know I'm OCD and I will be changing my icon to match as soon as possible but right now I need to get out of this fucking house. Go look.
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[04 Aug 2005|05:49pm] |
These are really old pictures from when me and Amy G and Ryan went to the zoo. We only got to be there for about an hour but it was ok cause I love the zoo and animals in general. I totally used to get zoobooks when I was little.
( Take me to the zoo. )
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[04 Aug 2005|05:24pm] |
I feel like painting or writing. But something is holding me back?
Maybe I'll make a shirt.
This post is about nothing.
(I'm afraid to poop in college.)
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[01 Aug 2005|02:16pm] |
I fixed my college schedule for next semester. I am now taking cultural anthropoloy, communication (i.e. public speaking please kill me), government, art history, foundation drawing, this art matrix thing that isnt really a class it just means i need to visit a bunch of museums or something. And that's it. So I'm only dreading one class, and am actually excited about three of them. This is a very good thing cause I was definetly freaking out for a second there.
Also my parents bought me an iBook G4 because they love me and I'm an only child. We also got a better phone plan including 500 text messages a month and we all get new phones. I'm pretty excited about all the new gadgets entering my life right now.
Double also. I set up my moms old sewing machine in my room. I have been altering up a storm. Next time you see me all my clothing will fit like a dream thanks to me and Lain toughing out clothing for a semester last year.
(Summer is looking up even though I'm still doing nothing every night. You're definetly to blame <33)
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[25 Jul 2005|01:22pm] |
I'm just glad everyone is ok. So glad.
For those of you who don't know Ventura grew got attacked by a bunch of homies at the beach. I was not there but I went to the emergency room with them all as soon as I heard about it.
I was shaking so bad. I could lose someone so easily. Over something seemingly harmless. Everyone just means so much to me.
I'm just glad you're all ok.
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[24 Jul 2005|04:12pm] |
Why is that happiness is always accompanied by hell?
Or do I just make it that way?
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[21 Jul 2005|03:03pm] |
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I feel like screaming.
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[18 Jul 2005|04:08pm] |
OMG. My car is broken. I was driving it everything was fine. Then the engine light starts flashing which according to the dealership means your car is about to explode. Yeh I was all alone at the time and I quickly had to pull over to the side and leap out of my possibly combustable car. Jesus christ I want to cry. My mom has no sympathy she just blamed it all on me. Thank god Tessah's house was in walked distance at the time. Yeh so now my car is sitting on Preble like half way in the middle of the street and we're too afraid to move it.
Oh yeh and Tessah just called the dealership to ask them what to do and as soon as she mentioned the engine light was flashing they cut her off and told her to turn the engine off and get out of the car immediately. They were like we STRONGLY suggest you have the car towed here. Do NOT turn it on again!! I'm terrified. I almost died and my car is probably dead. This is a tragedy.
I feel so lost.
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[16 Jul 2005|12:28pm] |
You all may (but probably not) remember this post made at the beginning of the summer.
( Fuck yeh. )
Also, tell Rilo Kiley to get off the adult contemporary station on the TV.
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[16 Jul 2005|12:02pm] |
Back to why I don't trust anyone. Because I shouldn't. Even the people who call themselves my best friends can't keep my secrets. And if they can't, you can? It's glaringly obvious now that I cannot confide in anyone because nobody else gives a shit.
Does this mean I have no friends?
I don't know. But it means I don't tell anyone anything. Ever. Because I get fucked over every time I try to open up.
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